


sleep, my antidote

by lilacpaintchips



Series: to die for [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Broken Promises, Death, Flowers, Heartbreak, Hospitals, M/M, Sawamura Daichi i need you to know that i love you and am so sorry i killed you, Tenderness, Terminal Illness, i promise i'll write something sweet for these two soon, of love and loss, the world is a cruel place and i will make Oikawa Tooru suffer at its hands
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:22:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27727425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilacpaintchips/pseuds/lilacpaintchips
Summary: The bouquet of lilac and white poppy on the bedside table begins to wither; but all Tooru sees is Daichi, only Daichi.Daichi's heart stops beating;and Tooru's shatters.
Relationships: Oikawa Tooru/Sawamura Daichi
Series: to die for [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2028168
Kudos: 15





	sleep, my antidote

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first fic, it's part of a bigger UshiOi story I'm working on. This is one of the first scenes I properly wrote, and I impulsively decided to post it now. This was originally a comic, but it's a fic now too - because hurting Oikawa in one medium alone is simply not enough for me, no sir.
> 
> This series/story/etc is inspired by the song 'to die for' by Sam Smith. I actually got the idea from [this tweet](https://twitter.com/seijohblue/status/1331599686122106880?s=20) by daniblue.
> 
> I hope you enjoy the beginnings of me ripping Oikawa Tooru's heart to shreds and then stomping all over it :D !!!

Tooru sits by Daichi's bedside. The sterile white lights of their room burn through his eyes, bouncing off the barren, gray walls. It feels colder than it should. The heart rate monitor beeps resolutely in the background. The bouquet of lilac and white poppy on the bedside table begins to wither; but all Tooru sees is Daichi, only Daichi.

His head rests on Daichi's thigh while his hand catches Daichi's fingers, stopping their fidgeting with the tubes attached to his nostrils.

Daichi smiles, small and sad. He kisses Tooru's hand, and laces their fingers together, his thumb circling along the back of Tooru's palm.

Absently, Tooru wonders if he holds on tight enough, digs his nails in, Daichi won't have to go. Perhaps they could stay right here forever, and always doesn't have to become a wilted daydream.

But they only have so much time.

They stopped speaking some time ago, giving up on filling the silence. They had already said all they needed to. Tooru wishes he could hear Daichi's voice again, but he refuses to disturb the moment.

It's too quiet, worse than the panic of that morning when they rushed Daichi to the hospital. He still had hope to cling to five hours and an eternity ago.

Daichi closes his eyes and leans back against the bed. Tooru watches all the while, unable to tear his gaze away, to burn these moments with his lover into his memory. Daichi's free hand comes to run through Tooru's hair. His throat feels dry and narrow. This isn't fair, they were supposed to have more time. They were supposed to have the rest of their lives.

He watches as their time ends too soon at a snail's pace.

The heart rate monitor beeps resoundingly one last time, and Daichi's thumb stills its motions over Tooru's hand.

Daichi's heart stops beating;

and Tooru's shatters.

**Author's Note:**

> I would apologise but I'm not sorry.
> 
> but hopefully y'all liked that :D
> 
> Is this an accurate depiction of someone dying in that scenario? I have no idea, but probably not. It works for the fic tho.
> 
> Here are the meanings of the flowers in that lil bouquet I mentioned:  
> \- lilac: first love  
> \- white poppy: sleep, my bane, my antidote
> 
> I also wanted to put in the eglantine flower (meaning, I wound to heal), and I originally had plum blossoms (meaning, keep your promise) in, but that didn't feel right for this scene. Also, idk if it was right to put these flowers together, but I like the meanings so what the heck.
> 
> [my twitter](https://twitter.com/kenmaccas)


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